Quarantine Talks: Working with a Mask

This month marks the start of my official full time back to work in the facility.  I haven't had a work from home day since May 28, and it seems like it will be a long time before I will be allowed one again.

First, let's talk about that.  Most people believe that this pandemic will lead to a revolution in remote work.  That may be true for large office-centered businesses, but my business has actually gone in the opposite direction since the end of the lock down.  I know I talked about this in my last post, but it bears repeating here because rules have become even more stringent since my last post and now I can't even work from home once a week like I could before the pandemic began.  My mother's business is allowing her to continue working from home, but on an exemption because she has underlying conditions, not as part of the rule.  They wanted her to come back to the office once it reopened, and most of their employees did return to the office.  I think there are many organizations that are still stuck in a very late 20th Century mindset.  I've certainly worked for a few, and I know plenty of others who have as well.  Maybe it's because I live in Western Pennsylvania, but I think it likely has more to do with the fact that most companies are run by people who were in their prime in the late 20th Century and aren't well adapted to change to our current environment.  Long story short, though, I don't believe the work from home revolution will be as large as originally expected.

Now, on to the actual reason I wanted to write today: wearing a mask.

It's no longer required by law that I wear a mask anywhere, so this is not an indictment on any government action or official.  I could certainly get into that, but it's a side issue compared to my main point.

I do not have asthma.  I am a fairly healthy person.  I am capable of doing things like running 8-12 miles at a time, and even ran with a mask on my face earlier this year when the weather was much colder.  I say all this to build up some context, because I should be more than capable of wearing a mask all day, or at least more capable than someone who has some underlying health issue like asthma.

My company is requiring every person in the facility to wear a mask at all times, unless they are in an office alone with a closed door.  There's two huge caveats: only those in management have access to an office to themselves with a door that closes, and some of us actually work on the production floor without air conditioning where the temperatures have more than once topped ninety degrees Fahrenheit in the past week.  I am one of those people, along with about twenty other salary employees and roughly three hundred hourly production employees.

Wearing the mask for eight to nine hours a day is really starting to get to me.  First, the obvious: it's incredibly hot.  I've been considering shaving my facial hair because it's disgustingly wet a lot of the time from my hot breath and my face sweating.  I've felt less comfortable with the warmth because I can't feel the fan on my face because of the mask.  It's just unpleasant physically to wear the mask in the heat.

The discomfort alone I could probably deal with and not have to write an whole blog post about it.  The bigger issues are the increased feelings of isolation and anxiety.  I'm not sure exactly why, but wearing the mask increases my heart rate.  It may have something to do with the increase in the amount of carbon dioxide I'm inhaling, or the increased attention I have on my breathing, but, I'm not entirely sure of the full cause.  The point is, wearing the mask increases my heart rate, and anytime my heart rate increases without what my brain considers a reasonable cause (exercise or the like), my sympathetic nervous system activates and tells my brain I'm scared of something.  I spend the day feeling anxious because the mask is making me breathe faster and thus increasing my heart rate.  Then the anxiety increases my heart rate more, and I feel like it's a vicious cycle.  Sometimes I have to go somewhere secluded and just sit for a few minutes with the mask off and breathe the fresh air so I can get myself under control.  It's really debilitating, and it makes me not want to go into work everyday.

The other issue I mentioned in the increase in feelings of isolation.  It would seem odd to say that I feel more isolated now that I'm back to work full time and sitting in a facility with at least three hundred and fifty other people within the same building with me, but that's what I've been feeling.  I think it's related to not spending as much time in anyone's presence, and not seeing their faces.  Everyone is wearing a mask, so I can't see when people are smiling.  I forget and smile at people as I walk past and wave, but remember as I'm doing it that they can't see my smile.  It's funny how something as small as a smile and a wave really make a difference in my day.  On top of that, when I do have to talk to people, the communication is more difficult because I can't see their mouth so it's harder to understand what they're saying.  The masks also make it more difficult to talk because if you move your mouth too much they shift out of place.  The production floor has a lot of machinery operating all of the time, so it's fairly loud all the time, which only adds to the difficulties because people are talking quieter because they're wearing a mask and I can't see their lips moving.  It's frustrating.

I've been feeling more and more depressed about it lately, which is why I wanted to come here and share my feelings.  Working with a mask on is just not pleasant and I'm struggling with it.  On top of all the other hardships at work going on right now because we're in the middle of a pandemic and it's wreaking havoc on our company's financial situation, I also have to deal with wearing a mask, and it's making me not want to go into work anymore.  Every day I feel beat down within minutes of entering the facility, and I just hate feeling this way.  I don't really have a good coping mechanism, so I'm hoping that putting this into words will help somewhat.