OK, so it wasn't exactly yesterday. It was probably more like two or three weeks ago. I'm not completely sure as there have been a lot of other things going on in my life right now. It does feel like yesterday, though, for a number of reasons.
Yesterday I picked up his bowl. The other animals in the house used his bowl most for water because it was always the freshest water. Since it was constantly being drank, it was constantly being filled, so it was always fresh. I have to remember to refresh the other water dishes around the house a bit more frequently now that I finally decided to pick his up. It's packed away with the bin that used to contain his food.
A week ago I took his last bag of food and donated it. We had just purchased him a new bag of food before he got sick, but before we opened it he stopped eating. None of the other animals in the house eat senior dog food, and I didn't want to return it, so I donated it.
Two days ago my brother-in-law gave us a memorial blanket. I can't even open it. I had to fold it with the photo on the inside so I can't see it.
Every time I walk in the kitchen I look to see if the water bowl is empty. It's difficult today to look and not see the bowl there anymore.
Every time I see a white flicker in the corner of my eye I think it's the little white fluff at the end of his wagging tail.
Under every pile of blankets I expect to find his happy face.
I can't bring myself to pack up or get rid of his bed. Our other pup has been using it since he died, so, she doesn't want me to get rid of it, either.
Almost nine years we had with Boswell. He was the chillest pup I've ever met. He just hung out, got pets, sniffed around, and wagged his tail. The only issue he ever had with other dogs was how much they liked to hump him.
We traveled across the country with that pup. He's travelled more than some of the people I know. I don't know where he's originally from, as we adopted him from the pound when he was three or four years old, but I do know in the nine years we had him he spent time in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Idaho, California, Utah, Nevada, Oregon, and various rest stops along the way between all those places. He flew in a plane. He road tripped cross country and back. He saw the Grand Canyon, the Pacific Ocean, and the Snake River Gorge. He drove through Vegas a few times. He lived in the high desert of southern California, the arid Inland Empire, and a number of places in western Pennsylvania.
I hope we were able to make him as happy as he made me. I wish there was something more I could have done for him.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I really just needed to spend some time processing this pain.
